The concepts that I was exploring in my work are loneliness, isolation and the idea that things are not always as they
appear. When I was growing up, my family moved frequently due to my
mother being a migrant worker in agriculture. This frequent moving caused me to
experience loneliness often as a child because at every new school it was
difficult for me to make friends. I felt like a ghost in the eyes of
everyone around me and wished I could escape the solitude. At all of the new
schools I attended, I created an image of being a shy girl who could easily get
hurt. What people didn’t know was that I could also be a very talkative,
cheerful girl who loved to spend time with other children her age. I
was trapped by this image of the quiet girl, so I used dolls to fill the empty
spaces. This friendship I developed with dolls was comforting to me. The way I
perceive dolls changed, however, after viewing the movie Chucky, in which a
colorful doll becomes an evil force. Dolls, normally considered happy and
comforting, can be made to seem frightening when manipulated. I can relate to
the idea in the film that appearances can be deceiving.
Throughout my work, I incorporated these ideas. I began by taking photographs in isolated places. Some images have no people or figures in them. Some feature a young girl, and in much of my work, I use dolls as the main characters of my photographs. The dolls signify how as a child I was judged for what I appeared to be on the outside, but in reality I was someone else on the inside. Dolls can create the illusion of being harmless and beautiful. Plastic or porcelain dolls give off this aura of goodness because of their outer appearance. To me though, dolls, with their staring eyes and vacant expressions, can actually appear frightening and terrifying. In my process, I manipulated the appearance of the dolls through writing on their surfaces, cutting their hair and taking them apart. I also placed the dolls in unusual environments and took pictures of them from different angles to make them appear superior or dominating. I looked for settings that created a particular mood and often added to the environment. For example, several of my images are in an old cabin in the orchards. I chose this setting because the paint is peeling and the building is falling apart and it creates a strong contrast to the brightly colored dolls. The age of the building also reflects the fact that dolls have been around a long time. In the cabin, I placed an old rocking chair in the space and hung photographs and images I created on the walls. In my photographs I also explored the relationship between interior and exterior spaces to talk about the need to escape from this tension of loneliness. Once I took my pictures, I enhanced the contrast in Photoshop to further create a dark, lonely atmosphere. I then choose photographs that teolled a story when placed together and combined them into one image in Photoshop.
Throughout my work, I incorporated these ideas. I began by taking photographs in isolated places. Some images have no people or figures in them. Some feature a young girl, and in much of my work, I use dolls as the main characters of my photographs. The dolls signify how as a child I was judged for what I appeared to be on the outside, but in reality I was someone else on the inside. Dolls can create the illusion of being harmless and beautiful. Plastic or porcelain dolls give off this aura of goodness because of their outer appearance. To me though, dolls, with their staring eyes and vacant expressions, can actually appear frightening and terrifying. In my process, I manipulated the appearance of the dolls through writing on their surfaces, cutting their hair and taking them apart. I also placed the dolls in unusual environments and took pictures of them from different angles to make them appear superior or dominating. I looked for settings that created a particular mood and often added to the environment. For example, several of my images are in an old cabin in the orchards. I chose this setting because the paint is peeling and the building is falling apart and it creates a strong contrast to the brightly colored dolls. The age of the building also reflects the fact that dolls have been around a long time. In the cabin, I placed an old rocking chair in the space and hung photographs and images I created on the walls. In my photographs I also explored the relationship between interior and exterior spaces to talk about the need to escape from this tension of loneliness. Once I took my pictures, I enhanced the contrast in Photoshop to further create a dark, lonely atmosphere. I then choose photographs that teolled a story when placed together and combined them into one image in Photoshop.
I enjoy working with images to communicate
ideas and show another side of me that I may not otherwise be able to
communicate with spoken words.
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